Tevez 5, Mayhem 0

It was a five-star performance from Tevez on Sunday at Cardozo High School.

Two goals from Andrew B. and a Jake B. header (or shoulder) from a long throw set the tone in the first half. Joe W. and Tim G. got on the scoresheet in the second half to really put the cherry on top.

As per usual, Max M. provided calmness at the heart of defense while Sarah S. put in an imperious performance at left center back. As the game got stretched, the coaching staff deactivated the shock collar on John S. and allowed him to go on a few runs that drew howls of laughter from the sideline.

In the center of the park, Cooper H. made some great runs and had a few shots on goal (and a few off). A cameo from Connor M. saw minimal carnage inflicted (relatively speaking) and Kat G. excellently deputized as the holding midfielder following an early muscle injury to Jeanie G.

Looking ahead, it may be the first time in recorded Tevez history that everyone wears the same uniform next week… Stay tuned!